Why are some people more fearful than others? Am I letting my fears control my life? Where did these fears come from? Will my fears ever go away? These are a few of the questions I ask myself on a daily basis.
What questions come to your mind when you see the word fear? Only four letters spell out the word fear, yet the word itself terrifies me. Fear comes in a lot of different forms: fear of trying new clothing, fear of meeting new people, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being loved, fear of the unknown. The list is endless.
If you asked my mom what I was like growing up she would probably use the word shy. But not only was I a shy child I was also a very fearful child. When I was six years old I watched all my siblings play soccer while I was on the sidelines. It's not that I didn't want to play soccer but that there was one thing that was holding me back. That one thing that was holding me back was fear; the fear of not wanting people to stare at me when I played soccer. Thankfully, my fear did not last very long and when I was seven years old I began to play soccer. But this is just one example of one of my childhood fears.
Now here I am as an adult staring back at that fearful child. I wish I could say that I used to be fearful, but sadly, I still am that fearful child. I could make a list to you about all the things my fears have kept me from doing and I am sure you could too. The list goes from jobs, to making new friends, to even important life events. I long for the day that I can trust in God, instead of letting my fears control my life.
So how do we not let ourselves be controlled by our fears? Although I am still learning I know it starts with being rooted in God's truth. Fear is such a common struggle that even God tells us not to be fearful 365 times in the Bible. One of my favorite Bible verses that mentions fear is Isaiah 41:10, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I am now learning to accept the fact that some of my fears will never go away. It has taken me some time to realize that just because I am feeling fearful does not mean I should run away. I am tired of avoiding my fears and I need to just face them head on. This is my goal for the next year. I hope to constantly be challenged by my fears, remembering to trust in God, knowing that he is in control. At the end of my life I want to be able to look back and say I lived a life of faith and not fear.
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
Photos taken by Isabella Lasso